Here at GCN, we're doing all we can to deal with an ever-growing threat to the
very fabric of our society. Those of you who are sensible
already know what we are talking about:
Replica Guns!
While other so-called 'public safety experts' are distracted about obtuse
discussions of illicit drug trade, failed welfare state programs and
increased punishment of violent repeat offenders, we here at CFGC are keeping the focus
of combating violence in society squarely where it belongs: the
mean streets, playgrounds and cricket fields of our pre-adolescent
children.
The
pictures you see below are shocking and frighteningly real testaments
to the fiery, hysteria-induced epidemic of violence and hooliganism
unleashed by
the mere presence if a Replica Gun in the hands of otherwise happy,
well-adjusted youths.
Our experts have testified that these instruments lead directly
to a disturbingly delusional and psychotic form of behavior
known on the streets of "playing".
Described by some as thought-crime at its ugliest, "playing"
encourages otherwise good kids to use their imaginations*
in what can only be
described as 'virtual violence.'
Types of playing include:
Cops and Robbers
(Misunderstood victims of society
lash out against authority figures.)
Cowboys and Indians
(Noble and rube-like aboriginals oppressed by violent white men.)
Capture the Flag
(A hideous war game invented by the gun makers and the all-powerful fox
hunting lobby.)
Help us to fight these insidious instruments of
virtual violence!
Be on the lookout for the following Replica
Guns, all of which are among the weapons-of-choice for the
up and coming criminal:
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Super Soaker of Death
This Replica Gun viciously shoots a stream of
dihydrous oxide - a known killer - to a distance of up to 10 meters. Thousands die from
this dangerous compound each year.
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Lethal Pneumatic Propulsion Gun
aka - Air Gun
(American
- BB Gun)
Generations of 'sensible' people have lived in fear of someone
'losing an
eye' to this Replica Gun.
Anyone in possession of these menaces should be turned in
immediately!
Call your constable today!
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Sonic Death Pistol
Better known by its street name - 'cap gun.'
This Replica Gun is potentially lethal to small, hyperactive dogs, the
elderly and anyone else exposed to its malicious sonic sound waves, often
referred to as 'going bang.'
Too many of these are available to the public.
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The
Intimidator Pistol
Perhaps the most frightening of all, this Replica
Gun projects a flag at dangerous velocities with
"Bang" and other messages which could be extremely harmful to
the psyche of anyone unfortunate enough to read that flag.
Scary!
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Help the cause! Get these denizens of death off
the playgrounds!
Hold a Replica-Guns-Buy-Back today! |
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*Imagination
- Our expert child-psychologist reports that the imagination is a
part of the brain that is susceptible to independent, creative and other
"non-sensible" thinking.
How
Replica Guns Ruined My Life!:
A Poignant Portrait of "Pip"
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